Dear Naked Dude

I applaud your commitment to exercise, I really do.  It’s great that you’re doing what you can to be fit, and that you love to ride your bicycle.  Hey, as a cyclist myself, I have to give you kudos, you successfully keep one more car off the roads every day you commute.  Your hard work shows in that you’re not one of the 68% of Americans who are overweight.  It also shows in your sweat-drenched workout pants.  By the way… Do you mind maybe not sitting on the locker room bench until after your shower?  Maybe at least you could wipe off the sweat?

Now that you’re here at work, and your bike is safely locked up, it’s a great idea to take a shower before starting your day.  But hey, do you think maybe you could wait until you’re by the little bench outside the shower door before getting naked?  That bench most of us assume might have come in contact with your tightie-off-whities.  That bench is meant for assisting someone in taking off their garments before a shower.  That bench doesn’t get used so much by those of us who drove here.  By the way, they make special pants for riding bicycles so that your underwear doesn’t get all nasty from the ride, I’d suggest checking out a sports store or a cycling shop for a pair.  Either that or at least bring a second pair of underwear for the day!

Look man, I don’t mean to be nasty… I just wish you’d take some pointers from your colleagues in the locker room.  Maybe you care, maybe not, but we’re talking.  I know you imagine yourself as a Lance Armstrong lookalike, but to the rest of us you look more like Kelsey Grammer.  Nobody wants to change clothes next to a naked, wet Kelsey Grammer, so could you please towel off at the shower and maybe at least put on underwear and a t-shirt, preferably clean, before returning to the locker area?  A little bit of modesty could do you a lot of good, my friend.
Image credit: bg_knight / 123RF Stock Photo


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