Ozzy Osbourne is a Genetic Mutant

Ozzy Osbourne is a Genetic Mutant Who Should Have Died Already. At the age of 15, Ozzy committed burglary, dropping a television set on himself as he made his getaway. Ozzy claims to have started using cocaine in 1971. He was also a smoker and raging alcoholic, claiming at one point to drink four bottles of liquor a day. In 1982, while Osbourne was aboard his tour bus, it was hit by a Beechcraft Bonanza that had his guitarist Randy Rhoads onboard. Ozzy left the bus unscathed, though guitarist Randy Rhoads and two others, who were all on the plane, died in the crash. Also in 1982, at a show in Des Moines, Ozzy picked up a wounded bat from the stage floor and bit its head off and then had to undergo treatment for rabies. He’s snorted a line of ants as if they were cocaine. He fell off a stage, breaking his ankle. He crashed an ATV, breaking his collarbone, six ribs, and a vertebra in his neck. His broken collarbone was blocking a major artery at the time of the accident, which was corrected with emergency surgery. Throughout most of his career, Ozzy used insane amounts of cocaine, LSD, heroin, and prescription drugs, all washed down with lots of alcohol. Statistically, Ozzy should be dead.

In 2010, a company called Knome mapped Ozzy’s genome. They determined that Ozzy is six times more likely than the average person to have a dependency on alcohol but also a higher metabolic tolerance for the stuff; he could process it faster with less health effects. He also apparently had a lower predilection for heroine and nicotine, which is probably why he was able to kick both those drugs relatively (HUGE relatively) easily.